Monthly Archives: April 2015

How To Manifest Anything

2 Replies

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Hello Everybody,

I hope you are all doing well. I felt very inspired to write this post after having a long conversation with one of my clients about how manifestation works. I thought it would be a good idea to break it down and explain a few things to you all.

The ability to manifest anything into your life seems pretty great, and it’s easier than you might think. Do you believe it is possible? Have you ever tried? Please comment below and let me know.

A lot of my clients have tried it and they get frustrated because they put so much effort into manifesting and don’t get the results they desire. That is because they are doing it with limiting negative positive thinking. That might sound confusing so I will give some examples.

  • I want to be free from debt
  • I wish I could meet someone who is a good guy for a change.
  • I cant wait to stop being single.
  • I cant wait to leave this crappy job!

Do you notice a theme? Many times when we want to change something we focus on the negative thing we don’t like. This is sending a mixed message to the universal energy around us. It actually reads your emotions rather than your intentions.

Successful manifesting is concentration on the positive aspects of what you want to bring forth. Any mantras or affirmations must be pure and light. It is very important to develop positive thinking skills. Here are some examples.

  • I am wealthy and have all that I need
  • My ideal mate is kind and loving
  • Picture yourself in a loving relationship
  • I am so thankful to be employed and I am so excited for my next opportunity.

There are two final aspects that you must keep in mind when learning how to manifest. Without them you will not succeed. Actually there is three.

  1. You are not doomed to failure or cursed. God isn’t punishing you. When things are hard and you’ve suffered abuse and misfortune it’s easy to adapt this way of thinking. Sometimes it’s easier to give up. Giving up releases you from responsibility, but it wont change your lot. Remember the emotional energy you put out is what you get back so if you want to feel like a victim you will keep being victimized. Honestly for most of my clients this is the toughest nut to swallow. Taking control of your destiny is a big responsibility, but it’s the only way you can make change.
  2. You must believe that you are worthy of what you desire. You can not attract a great mate, job, friends. . . if you don’t feel you are deserving of them. You must get rid of negative limiting beliefs. This may be difficult at first especially if you have had a lifetime of insults and abuse. This is where I use the saying “Fake it til you make it.” It is important to note you have to be what you want to get.
  3. Lastly and the most important you have to believe that manifesting is possible. Your belief is the gas that gets your machine going. It is best to start small. Ask for little things at first, a compliment, or a free gift.   Practice makes perfect and it’s best to take small steps.

I hope this post cleared some things up for you. I eel I must add one more tip. Watch the company you keep and the things you surround yourself with. It is hard to manifest good things and people into your life if you are still engaging with negative people who put you down and make you feel badly.Please let me know if my tips have helped you. Also if you hare having problems coming up with positive affirmations comment below and I will help you. Good Luck

<3 Jen

 

 

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Hi Everybody,

Have you ever felt imbalanced, irrational, insecure, or vulnerable? Sometimes when our emotions run out of control it’s hard to regain control and balance.  Other times you may feel so numb that you can’t figure out how you feel, or how to overcome it. This post is for you.

I read an interesting book The Courage To Trust by Cynthia L. Wall LCSW. It talks about how to develop trust in a relationship and teach healthy coping skills. The part of the book that stayed with me was when she spoke about the human psyche and how we are all divided into three streams of consciousness.

The reason this theory is meaningful is because it helps us interpret others, as well as aiding in very important self check ins. Both crucial in creating stability and emotional well being. Below I will break down each persona so at a moment of stress or upset you can do your own self check ins and get back on track.

  • The Adult

The adult is us at our best and most emotionally healthy. The adult is calm, generous, rational, and aware. This is the persona that goes to work, pays taxes, helps others, and makes healthy decisions. This is the goal. When our adult is in charge you should feel confident and centered.

  • The Child

The child is us at our most vulnerable and insecure. This persona frets about our looks, worries about getting fired or rejected, feels stress, shame, anxiety, and fear. The child looks for comfort and reassurance. They also have trouble seeing the big picture, or the light at the end of the tunnel. In a few moments I will teach you how to do your own self check in when your child is active. It is important to be aware of when the child is active. It is easier to overcome this persona than it is the protector.

  • The Protector

Though this persona may seen like a good thing it’s actually very different. Whenever the child is active the protector steps in to sooth the child. It sounds nice but actually it’s goal is to numb the pain by any means necessary. The protector remembers every pain of the past but cares nothing for the future. When the child is in distress the protector steps in and reaches for the nearest numbing agent. This could be food, alcohol, drugs, one night stands, and other self destructive behaviors.  When you experience self destructive or addictive behaviors the protector is running the show. It is also worth mentioning that the protector also engages in unhealthy conflict resolution. When the child feel anxious or rejected by a conflict the protector wants them out of the situation as soon as possible so it engages an unhealthy fight (raging, being defensive, abusive, violent) or flight( shutting down, leaving, refusing to talk) response.

Now that you have a better understanding I want to teach you the self check in method. If you wish to know more in depth you can check out the book. The real trick is to catch the child as soon as it shows up. When you feel that twinge of fear or insecurity that takes you off your stride. Here’s what to do.

  • Take the logical approach

Are these fears and insecurities real? Are you worrying because of negative past experiences and trauma’s? Before you give in to your insecurities ask yourself these questions. Try to identify what triggered your child persona to arrive. Most of the time this alone will get you back on track. Remember the child just wants to be reassured. If you can rationalize the negative emotions you’ll calm the child.

  • Talk to someone

If the logical approach didn’t work you may need an objective opinion. This can be a trusted friend or relative. If you don’t have anybody you feel comfortable with you could try journaling. The goal is to gain objectivity here so if that doesn’t help try your best to remove yourself from the situation by pretending you’re watching a movie about your life.

  • Healthy Coping

If you are really dealing with a stressful situation try taking a walk, deep breathing, watching a movie or playing a game, aromatherapy, acupressure, dancing, and when you feel ready confronting the situation.

When you find yourself giving up, sleeping too much ,shying away from people , giving in to unhealthy habits, you protector is in charge. You are avoiding or numbing and if you ignore these signs you could be headed down a dangerous path.  If you feel you are in this place it’s important to be aware as soon as possible so you can begin to make positive changes.

I hope this post was helpful to you. I have been in all of these stages at one time or another and it’s important to know that you can recover. Knowledge is power and being aware of what’s going on is a crucial part of healing and recovery.

<3 Jen

 

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Hello Everyone,

Are you fed up with being single? Okay that kinda sounded like an infomercial lol, but seriously this post is about a new method I developed to help my clients get into a better mindset for attracting genuine love.

Companies spend lots of time branding themselves to evoke certain emotions in us. When we think of certain brands we automatically associate them with feelings and emotions.

Apple-modern, trendy, innovative

Amazon-fast, one stop shop

Okay so what does this have to do with finding real love? We are all made up of energy. This invisible field surrounds us at all times and creates the way people feel about us. The good news is you have complete control over this field. Our own feelings and beliefs about ourselves transmit to the rest of the world and universe. This is where the branding comes in.

The first step is improving self worth. In order to find a good boyfriend/girlfriend  you need to believe that you are worthy of love. There are lots of ways to boost self confidence. Branding yourself with positive words of encouragement will help you feel worthy, desirable, and confident.

Firstly I need to mention that this method will work for anyone who tries. It doesn’t matter your age, weight,height, looks . . . . It’s all about the way you see yourself and the energy you put out to the world. We all have flaws, but there is so much more we have to offer a potential partner.

Here’s what I want you to do, Think about the type of relationship that you want. Think about the love of your life. Get yourself into a detailed mind frame and when you’ve got that down go to phase 2.

Phase 2 (this is where the branding happens). I want you to think of 5 characteristics that make you an ideal partner. These have to be personal and from the heart. You have to fully believe them with your heart and soul. Write them down. Put them somewhere you can see them everyday. These 5 inspirational affirmations will instill positive emotions in you and like branding used by companies  this is how you will be seen.

Here are some examples of  positive affirmations.

  • good cook
  • good listener
  • funny
  • playful
  • sexy
  • playful
  • smart
  • thoughtful
  • honest
  • adventurous

The last thing I want you to know is that the more you put into this the more you’ll get out of it. You can see self branding as mere self confidence techniques, but if branding didn’t work companies wouldn’t do it.  The power of suggestion is strong and it works as long as you believe it with conviction. I give lots of love and dating advice, but this is the foundation from where it all begins.

I want you to be in a healthy loving relationship. I want you to feel good about yourself. Let me know if this system works for you.

<3 Jen

 

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Ahhhh the age old question that’s been keeping girls and women up all night. I have been giving my clients love and dating advice for almost twenty years. This is one of the most pondered subjects I get asked on a daily basis. I am happy to share some of my knowledge with you all today for free 🙂

Here is what you’ll find it this blog post!

  •  How to tell if a man is attracted to you
  • interpreting male body language
  • guys flirting secrets
  • nickname meanings
  • signs that he’s not into you

Men are not as difficult to decode as you might think. Once you know their little tells and how their manly brains work it’s easy. With a clear head, and honesty you will never wonder again (plus you’ll look like a total relationship guru to all your friends).

We are all primitive creatures at heart. As much as our society has evolved we still are driven by instincts, pheromones,and the desire for security and a healthy breeding partner (this still applies to you even if you don’t want children). It’s just in our subconscious. Men are territorial, hunters, this is important to remember.

When a man is attracted to you in a sexual or romantic way you occupy a big part of his mind. He will plan, and make attempts to close the deal. He will ask you questions about what you like,  your relationship status, what kind of guys you like . . . . He is gathering market research on you. This isn’t as bad as it sounds. He is just trying to see if you are on the market, and possible ways to impress you. Also does he remember details, and notice changes?

If a guy likes you he will definitely try to impress you. He wants you to know he’s a catch. He may tell you funny stories, or tales about what a bad ass he is. He will do magic tricks, back flips, whatever skills he thinks are marketable. He may even try buying you expensive gits, though if this is the only game he’s got it’s a sign of insecurity.

Now lets talk about reading a guy’s body language. Remember how I said men are territorial?  When a guy likes you he shows subtle physical signs that he’s focused on you romantically. Of course there’s eye contact, but I’ve got a better one! Pay attention to where he is pointing his chest. I know it’s weird but it goes back to that primitive thing. Men show dominance and strength by puffing up their chests. If he’s into you his chest will be faced toward you even if his eyes are elsewhere. Worth noting if his eyes are another girls butt he’s a player.

Guys are very tactile. If he is attracted to you he will find playful excuses to touch you. This may include play fighting, and teasing ( as long as it’s done in a light-hearted way). You could also engage in a little of this yourself. Here’s an experiment you can run. Wear a soft sweater. Or if you have long hair wear a braid, or a pony tale. Like a moth to a flame, if he’s interested he won’t be able to resist.

Lastly if he’s interested he will let you know. He will ask you to hang out, want to connect with you, men who are interested will pursue. It may be subtle at first, but they will pursue. When a guy is interested they have a burning desire to see where it goes. They may be shy or insecure, but they will find a way to set things in motion.

There are some exceptions where a guy might have feelings but does not follow the normal methods above. In these situations the gentleman may not be ready to dive into a new situation because of fear, some other life circumstance, or just not wanting to be in a relationship at all. If you feel that this describes your situation I would advise walking away. I will cover guys you shouldn’t date in an upcoming post.

Now for the unpleasantness. Here are some signs that he’s not into you. It can be easy to get caught up with your emotions and mis-read someones intentions. Here are some ways to avoid this embarrassing train-wreck. I’m just gonna put this out there. You have to be honest with yourself. Work the method, be observant and objective.

Okay I wanna cover nicknames. If a guy calls you Buddy, Pal, Bud, his mentor, bestie . . . . I’m sad to say this is the kiss of death, you’ve been friend zoned. On the other hand if he calls you something like Blondie, Freckles, Rapunzel, Brown Eyes . . . You are good to go! Can you spot the difference? In the first ones he is seeing you as a nurturer, a trusted confidant. You are special to him, but is a platonic way. Let me know if you want me to do a blog post on how to bounce from bestie to beautiful in his eyes. The other set of names focuses on physical features. hint hint this is a good indication of what features he’s attracted to so play them up. BTW if a guy gives you a nickname based on your boobs or your ass he’s most likely a creep, just sayin. Btw a good way to flirt back is to give him an equally sexy nickname, Tiger, Blue eyes, charming. You could also call him by his last name.

One final thing, the way he talks to you about other woman. I saved this one for last cause it’s kinda important. Okay so here goes:

Not good

  • If he goes on four hours about his ex girlfriend and how much he did for her, or what he likes, feels, thinks about her.
  • If he talks to you about women he’s attracted to, wants to sleep with.
  • If he asks you for advice specific to another woman “what should I tell her?”

Actually Good

  • Talks to you about women who’ve asked him out or like him. Okay this one is sorta tacky, but not all guys are smooth. If he does this he’s just trying to let you know other girls find him attractive and maybe you will too:)

I hope this helps to clear things up a bit for you. Dating should be fun, not a mystery. Let me know what you think of this post, and if you have any tips please share them below in the comments.

<3 Jen