Hello Everyone,

I am so grateful for my clients for many reasons, but most especially when them make me inspired.  This post is dedicated to all of you who waste your time dating and involving yourself with people below your level. Now this post may seem shallow, but give me a chance to explain 🙂  I have counseled so many people on love and relationships. The most successful ones are based common ground. Even though it’s fun and exciting to date someone different from you certain factors need to be in line for harmony.

Admit it, there is a distinct draw to dating someone below your level. It can feel nice being on that pedestal getting all of the praise and adoration. This is true especially if you aren’t used to feeling like the top dog. Most people who engage in dating below there level do so because of insecurities, failing to realize their value, or not wanting the pressure of keeping up with someone who is equal.

1. You will never be fully satisfied. While it can be an ego boost and somewhat comforting at first eventually the gaps become more apparent. Weather it’s energy level, inelegance, or heart You will feel exhausted trying to explain things, or get them to empathize and relate to you. A big part of building emotional intimacy is to be able to just get and understand each others needs and ideas. When this fails everything else will follow.
2. You will be keeping yourself from growing. Being with someone who is not on your level means that you aren’t looking forward. Devoting your self and your energy in this way is a type of avoidance. You want power and control over the relationship, and fear leaving your comfort zone. To really grow and experience life you need to embrace vulnerability, and challenge yourself.
3. As the top dog you are likely to deal with a heavy dose of jealousy, insecurity, competition, and my personal favorite paranoia. These negative qualities are very unsexy, and create a ton of tension in relationships.
4. In the long run you are going to hurt the person. Weather it’s because you gain confidence or you get sick of them in one way or another. More often than not people who date below their level eventually have a wake up call. When that happens their partners are left to deal with the rejection and feel hurt.

This is a sensitive subject to write about. People are complex and have many nuances. A persons level may not be black and white. We all have strengths and weaknesses. That being said we all have an awareness of how we compare to others. Your intuition will guide you. If you feel someone is not on your level they probably aren’t.

Jen